In his book, Triggers, Marshall Goldman talks about the quadrants that people or organizations should think about when it comes to change. The basic quadrants are these: Positive/Change; Positive/Keep; Negative/Keep; Negative/Change.
The one that interested me the most was the Acceptance quadrant: the things that are negative but that we’ll keep. What really caught my attention was this statement: “Most people waste most of their lives on topics they’re not going to change anyway.”
I am a night owl. I actually can feel my mood shift positively in the middle of the afternoon. I don’t like getting up early. In fact, I don’t particularly like mornings at all.
Yet I always feel like a failure because I don’t get up early. I set several alarms. I even have it on my coach.com app as a habit I want to instill. The result of this is that three alarms go off each morning, and I shut them off and return to sleep. Each day I don’t get to check off the ‘get up on time’ item in coach.com. (I only have one check for the month of June, and only 74 for the past 18 months.)
I’ve decided that Goldsmith is right. I won’t argue that it would probably be better if I got out of bed earlier each day, but it’s ridiculous to keep thinking about doing it, planning on doing it, and then berating myself for not doing it over and over again. So for now, I’m taking it off my list. I am accepting this negative in my life. Maybe there will come a time when I want to change, and I’ll try again.
But for now, I’m turning off the alarms.