Monthly Archives: February 2017

Monday Motivator: Just Move On.

Can we all agree that, no matter what embarrassing thing we did yesterday. it was not as bad as providing someone with the wrong card at the Oscars or calling out the wrong film or being the wrong people  to grab the statuette?

Luckily, for me, I had already gone up to bed because, when I see these sorts of things, I completely identify with the people involved and get upset myself.

But you know what? All of those people woke up this morning (some probably a little worse for wear from the after-parties), and got back to living their lives. There are still interviews to be done, movies to make, and paparazzi to avoid.

We won’t die of embarrassment. A few years ago, I was in Italy and about to visit the Vatican. I had taken some medicine on an empty stomach, and that, combined with the taxi ride, made me sick as the proverbial dog. I threw up outside the Vatican walls.

I was embarrassed. But while I sipped on water, I realized that the Vatican has been around for hundreds of years and that there was no way I was the first person to vomit in its vicinity. I also realized that no one, except my friends, was paying attention to me. People rushed by without glancing at the woman on the sidewalk.

Embarrassment is an inconvenience, but it shouldn’t be a barrier to achieving our goals.

 

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Media Literacy: Be Aware of Your Biases

A friend of mine recently announced he was leaving Facebook because the site had become too political. Now he is not the only person complaining about this issue, but I had to laugh when I saw his final post. This is the same man who, for the past eight years, regularly posted angry tirades against “Barry Obama.”

Was my friend being hypocritical? Perhaps. But more likely, he simply was unaware of his own bias. So when he saw (and posted) nasty comments about the previous president, he accepted them and moved on. But when such posts popped up about the current president, he felt angry and outraged. It wasn’t that Facebook had become more political. But now posts were criticizing someone he liked, and each one felt like a personal attack.

Personal biases are hard to detect. Most of us don’t think of ourselves as biased. We think of ourselves as rational, clear-headed people who have studied the facts and made reasonable choices. And even though research shows us over and over that we aren’t that rational, we refuse to believe it. And our own personal history should show us that we’re not that clear headed and rational. But we still refuse to believe it.

I don’t think it’s terribly helpful to try to rid ourselves of bias. A worthy goal, perhaps. But a hard one. But one thing we can do immediately is to admit we have biases and be aware of them when we read, see, or listen to the news.

I try to be open about my biases, and I’m lucky enough to have some friends who are comfortable challenging me when I seem to be too much in my information comfort zone. But I have to monitor my biases consistently. If not, I jump back to “My side tells the truth; your side spouts fake news” theme that doesn’t help anyone.

So you have biases? Guess what? You’re human, just like the rest of us. But refusing to admit you have them? Then dealing with the media is always going to trip you up.

 

Monday Motivator: It’s Okay to Be Rusty

 

In the book, How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom, Jonathan Fields tells the story of coming home one day as a teenager to find his mother in tears in her bedroom. She kept her pottery wheel in the basement and decided that now, newly divorced,  was the time to return to her art.

She told her son that she had lost her talent. She had tried but nothing came.

Like most teenage boys, Jonathan was overwhelmed at all the emotion. But then a thought came to him: He was on the gymnastics team at school. He reminded his mother about how good he was during the season, the practice he put in, the effort to stay in shape. But after the season was over, he let it slide (as only teenage boys can do.) So when it came time to get to the gym again, he was not great that first week or the second. “Because I’m rusty, Mom. And it’s the same for you.”

That night, his mother returned to the basement. And to her art.

Most of us are so busy that we feel accomplished when we just get the basic things done each day. We often think about what we’d do if we had more time. But too often, we then conclude: “Oh, I wouldn’t be any good at (tennis, writing, piano playing, riding the mechanical bull, etc.) now. Too much time has passed. I would be awful.”

Well, take it from me, you will be awful that first time. And maybe the second. But being rusty is no reason not to return to something you used to love. The rust will disappear after some practice, and the fun will return.

So this week, recall something you used to love to do. Pick up that guitar. Write a poem. Run after work. Grimace when the chords squeak, the words are saccharine, and your knees hurt. But don’t give up. You’re just rusty.

 

Monday Motivator: Get Your Mojo Back

Last night was the beginning of the second half of the season of The Walking Dead. Even those of you who aren’t fans have to know that this has been an especially brutal season with some fans simply walking away from the unremitting bleakness. The murders that started the season were bad enough, but the utterly defeated Rick didn’t help.

But, in my humble opinion (and I am no expert on the show and have never read the comic book), Rick needed to be defeated. He had become too sure that his way was the only way to survive. He had stopped listening.

Still, sad Rick was no fun. And it was encouraging to watch him start back on the right path: recognizing that he had been wrong and admitting it to Maggie, making a little joke to Darryl, believing in Gabriel, and even smiling at the end of the episode. Rick is getting his mojo back.

At any given time, many of us can identify with sad Rick. Our plans have gone awry. The bad people seem to be winning. And, in some cases, we have to admit that our own hubris has contributed to our downfall.

But it doesn’t have to be permanent. The first step, whether we’re fighting Negan and zombies or something more pedestrian, is to realize that we don’t want to stay there, realize what power we have, and take the first step.

So let’s do it.

Monday Motivator: Obey the Two-Minute Rule

If you walk around the back part of the library, you are likely to see any or all of the following: a styrofoam box that may or may not contain the remnants of someone’s lunch,  a sweater, a Target bag full of someone’s lunchtime shopping, and a phone. The one thing that these items have in common is that none is where it’s supposed to be.

What tends to happen is that someone is on the way to put an item away, gets distracted, puts said item down, and then  forgets about it. For a hour. For a day. For a week. For eternity.

This forgetfulness annoys the neater staff member and causes clutter.

Recently, while reading  I came across the two-minute rule. Basically it’s this: If a task takes less than two minutes, don’t make an excuse, do it.

Procrastination is one of my problems. When I come home from work, my first impulse is to sit on the sofa and decompress for a while. And then three hours later, I delay going to bed because I’m tired but still need to take out my contacts, change clothes, etc. My mail piles up on the table by my door. And my dining table has become a purgatory for all the things that I can’t decide where to put or find a place for.

So I took some baby steps. The first night I came home, before sitting down, I sorted my mail. Then as I looked longingly at my sofa, I asked myself if it would take longer than two minutes to take out my contacts. The answer was no, so I trudged upstairs.

A few hours later, when I was ready to go to bed, I didn’t have to wash my face, put away my clothes, or put dishes in the dishwasher. All I had to do was go upstairs. It was a good night.

It also works for larger projects, especially as a way to get started when an assignment seems too large and overwhelming.

Now I just need to make my colleagues as enthused about the two-minute rule as I am.

 

Media Literacy: Step Back from the News Channels

A few years ago, I was vacationing with some friends when I read that a Facebook pal of mine was a security guard for an event at the college where he worked. I didn’t recognize the name and asked the daughter of my friend.

“I can’t believe you don’t know him,” she said.

I assumed it was the latest teenage heartthrob band, but it turned out he was host of one of the discussion shows on Fox News.

“Oh,” I said. “Then no wonder I don’t know him.”

“And what do you mean by that?” My friend’s tone was quite offended, and I could see that we were about to engage in a political argument, so I quickly added, “I don’t watch any news channels.”

Before I go on, let’s have a moment of full self-disclosure. I am a liberal. Before the election, I took one of those tests that are supposed to tell which candidate you are most aligned with. As I was answering questions, I thought, “Wow. I am getting more conservative as I get older.” When I hit the results button, it turned out that Bernie Sanders was my political soul mate.

But my dislike for the 24-hour news channels has nothing to do with my political stance.

Here are my basic concerns:

  1. News channels have to fill up the time, so little stories become big stories as details are over-analyzed and expert after expert is brought on to discuss the impact of the event.
  2. Like all commercial stations, news channels need ratings. Therefore, three informed policy experts discussing the minute implications of an economic policy  in a calm tone, allowing each person time to speak, won’t do the trick. There must be people arguing and yelling, and someone, usually the host, has to be the winner.
  3. Psychologists have pointed out that repetition can make us believe things are true. We hear them over and over, and their very familiarity can make us lower our critical thinking shields. “Why, yes,” we think, “I’ve heard that before.” But we forget that we’ve heard it repeatedly from one source.
  4. All news outlets , in these days of the web, where information can go around the world in less than a second,  are pressed to get the story out first. This often leads to initial information just being plain wrong. Obviously, this is never good. But for 24-hour news stations, this is especially problematic. (See 1 and 3 above.) Wrong information is repeated and analyzed digging its way into our minds.

For those of  you who love your Fox News, CNN, or MSNBC  (and whatever else is out there these days), I know I won’t convince you to turn them off. All I ask is that you watch them with clear eyes and a critical mind.