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In the book Feel-Good Productivity, Ali Abdaal suggests that we find ways to make tedious tasks fun. He gave the example of a guy working at McDonalds who decided to spice up the monotony by upselling. He tried to get every customer to add barbecue sauce to the order, for example. For Abdaal, during medical school, it was adding music to his studying.
The suggestion is pretty simple. Whenever we dread a task, we ask ourselves what would make this fun? Many times, for me, the answer is, “Nothing. Nothing will make this fun.” But that’s not quite true.
I too like to do tasks to music, even taking little dance breaks as a I go along. I also like to set timers to break giant tasks down. I challenge myself to see how much I can get done in fifteen or thirty minutes. Like my sister’s cat, I am also treat motivated.
Even if you’re reading this with doubt, go ahead and give it a try. After all, we all have tasks that we dread that have to be done. Why not at least try to see if we can make them a tad more pleasant?
This past week, our college had Spring Fling, and besides the crafts, music, and food, there was a petting zoo. Many of us ran out to pet the cow, the chicken, the sheep, the goats, the bunnies, and the ducks. Students loved them, and there was so much laughter and happiness in the pen. I noticed that even those students who didn’t come in had smiles on their faces as they looked at the animals. Then on Friday, Carly brought her new kitten, Willy, to visit us on their way to the vet’s office. All our work stresses disappeared as we watched Willy run around the room or as we caught him and gave him some hugs.
Animals do wonderful things for us, and we should include them in our lives as much as we can. That doesn’t necessarily mean owning a pet. We just need to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.
I don’t have a pet, but I have my colleagues send me photos or videos of theirs. I even put them on my computer screen, so I see them when I need a break. I watch animal videos. I also watch the birds outside my window. And I never pass up an opportunity to pet a dog I meet on my daily walk.
All of those things make me happy. For a few seconds, I forget the stresses of the day.
So, this week, take an animal break.
In her book The Life Brief, Bonnie Wan mentions the 5 Whys Method of getting to the root of problems. Apparently started at Toyota, it’s a way of clarifying our issues and thinking up solutions.
She gives an example from her own life when she was angry with her husband. The first why was simple: He wouldn’t help around the house. But by the fifth, she realized that this problem had less to do with her husband and more with her perfectionistic standards of housekeeping. Once she got to that point, her choices were simple (although probably not easy for her): let her husband help and stop criticizing or do it all herself. (Assuming it wasn’t intentional incompetence on her husband’s part.)
I used a modified version of this when I had a hard time writing my dissertation. I had read the relevant novels and research. But I just couldn’t get started writing it. I asked myself why several times and realized that, while other problems were certainly there like procrastination and fatigue after working all day, the main problem was that I’d never written a dissertation and didn’t really know how to start.
I went to the Vanderbilt library, looked up some dissertations, and saw how they started. Then I was good to go. (But full disclosure, I still battled procrastination. But that’s a topic for another day.)
So, the next time you’re upset or have a problem, ask why. But don’t stop there. Ask why again. And again. And again. And again.
In his book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, sociologist and psychologist Corey Keyes gives some advice on how to keep from languishing, a condition many found themselves in during and after the pandemic. Some you probably could guess, such as having a purpose and connecting with others. But one really struck me: being curious and continuing to learn.
Keyes gave the example of a woman who was feeling blue as her last child went off to college, not sure what to do in her new ‘empty nest.’ Looking at her children’s various musical instruments from their childhoods, she made a decision to learn to play one: the violin. (This may remind some of you of an earlier post when I talked about learning to play the piano. But it’s not the same. My experience should be categorized under “knowing when it’s time to stop because you simply have no musical talent.”) As she increased in skill, she found herself flourishing again.
For me, it was something else. Recently, my friend Sarah brought me a book she’d just finished: Can You Forgive Her? by Anthony Trollope. Just a few pages in, my love for Victorian literature was rekindled. I have the second in the Palliser series ready to read as well as biography of Trollope. I’m also listening to a recent biography of Charles Dickens.
We should always be on the lookout for a new passion or an old one that needs rekindling. When we feel the doldrums coming upon us, let curiosity be our guide back to flourishing.
On Friday, I walked into the hair salon to buy some conditioner. Usually, I keep some in reserve, but I misjudged how much I had. So, I was almost out. But no biggie, I thought. They always have some. Reader, they didn’t.
Although they had bottles and bottles of shampoo, they had sold their last bottle of conditioner the day before. I really shouldn’t have been surprised. The curly-haired use up about five bottles of conditioner for every bottle of shampoo. Curly hair revolts when it’s too clean. I had to make another plan.
Of course, not having conditioner for my hair is not a big deal. I could have walked over to Target and bought a reasonable replacement until my salon restocked. But it made me think about how many times in the average week, we are called to rearrange our plans and our reactions when we have to.
I know so many people who feel the universe is against them when things have to be changed. But it seems a much more useful reaction is to just pivot. Someone cancels dinner? Go home and start that good book you’ve been wanting to read. You planned to go to the beach and there’s a hurricane? Go to Canada instead. (This actually happened to a friend of mine.)
It’s normal to feel disappointed when things don’t work out, and I’ve done my share of railing at the universe. But often obstacles don’t have to be final obstacles. Find a way around them.
Pivot.
The husband of one of my former colleagues has a birthday on April 1. Several years ago, she had another colleague go to his office to deliver a BanjoGram. Every April Fools’ Day, I think of that prank and laugh out loud.
There is a saying that children laugh hundreds of times a day, but by the time they become adults, that number is abysmally low. I think we should change that immediately. Look for ways to laugh.
A couple of friends and I send funny memes to each other several times throughout the day. My phone’s ding lets me know I’m going to have a moment of fun, or if I can’t get to my phone, that fun will be coming up.
I am also blessed with having colleagues who are pretty hilarious, from cringe-worthy puns to dry observations about library life. We often find ourselves laughing and having to shush each other.
And if nothing has worked that day, I have several shows waiting on my DVR to give me a laughter boost when I get home: Ghosts and Abbot Elementary are my current favorites.
On this April 1st, if you are so inclined, play a harmless prank. And then make a resolution to add more laughter to your life.
Traditionally, spring has been the time to clean. I have no idea why unless it’s because with more light, we’re able to see more dirt in our houses. Or, maybe in times past, the longer, warmer days allowed for things to be taken outside to air. If spring puts you in the mood to clean, then more power to you.
I tend to take a more Thoreauvian approach to cleaning. In his little hut at Walden Pond:
“I had three pieces of limestone on my desk, but I was terrified to find that they required to be dusted daily, when the furniture of my mind was all undusted still, and threw them out the window in disgust.”
I have no problem with cleaning; in fact, the library is currently undergoing one of my decluttering frenzies. But let’s not limit it to our physical surroundings. We can clean up some misunderstandings with family and friends. We can clear out some of our prejudices. We can mend some fences. And we can upgrade our reading, viewing, and social media habits.
Then we can really say that we have been spring cleaning.
On Saturday, I was visiting my family in Alabama when we stopped to do a little shopping. My mother and sister went into one store; I walked over to another one that stocks the moisturizer I use. On the way, I saw a stand where a little girl was selling Girl Scout cookies. The big store does not allow outside vendors in front of it, so she stood two stores over, a place where there were very few shoppers. As I walked by, she didn’t even look up, probably tired and maybe a little disheartened from the lack of foot traffic.
I am a huge fan of most things sweet, but I am not a fan of cookies. I went on into the store. As I bought my moisturizer, I thought back to my days as a Girl Scout. I was pretty bad at it. I only earned one badge. And I dreaded cookie selling time. I couldn’t bear asking anyone to buy something from me. I had vowed that if I ever had the money, I would always help out any Girl Scout who had set up a cookie table.
On my way back to the car, I stopped and bought some cookies.
It never hurts, when possible, to make someone’s day a little better. And it’s almost always possible.
In his book, Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg tells of the time after his father died. People, he writes, would offer sympathy and then move on to another topic. Maybe they didn’t want him to feel sad. Maybe they thought they wouldn’t say the right thing. But Duhigg would have loved to talk about his father. He wanted to share memories of his dad.
This book reminded me that it’s important to ask people what they need. Too often, we assume we know what people want. Often, we think they want what we would. But the only way to know for sure is to ask.
It’s pretty simple. If you are overwhelmed at work and would like your colleagues’ help, then don’t think they should know what you need. Ask them for help.
If someone is upset, ask what’s wrong and then listen.
Sometimes, people don’t want to talk about what’s bothering them, and that’s okay as well. They can tell you that, and you give them the space they need. But you’ve still asked, and they know you care.
So this week, just ask.
My colleague Pam and I realized that we had a similar problem. We knew the things we needed to do, but we kept delaying them. So, we decided to make the month of March our “March Forward” month. We are going to concentrate on the things that we’ve been putting off.
This month looks to be very busy, but that’s why we chose it. We knew that with a whole list of things to do, it’s just easier to let the things that are urgent and time-bound to get the most attention. We overlook the important but not urgent category. But not this month!
Already, I have done two things. I have been planning to make a doctor’s appointment for some time. It’s important but not urgent. And each week, I’d look at my calendar and think that I don’t have time right now. But Friday, I made the call, and now the appointment is on my calendar.
Then I called the plumber about an annoying thing that definitely needs to be fixed, but is not broken. And I am also looking for someone who can replace a door.
As the days go on, I plan to do some things in other areas of my life. But right now, it feels good to get a few of those ‘someday’ things off my list.
Why don’t you join us?
JollyLibrarian 