Monday Motivator: Work on the Actual Problem

Monday Motivator: Focus on the Problem at Hand

In the middle of a week full of problems, one more popped up, and I reacted badly. To say I reacted badly is an understatement. It was not my finest moment, and I will look back with embarrassment at my reaction for a very long time.

For a few days, I gave myself an out that it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Even saints might go a little nut if they had as many problems as I faced last week. But I later realized that was not it all. Yes, it was not a good week. But it wasn’t the final problem that sent me over the edge. It was the type of problem that occurred.

It was similar to one I had faced in the past, one that went on for months, that caused a great deal of stress every single day. While not even realizing it, I reacted as if that problem had returned and I was caught in that horrible web again.

When I finally took some time to think, I was able to separate my kneejerk reaction from the actual problem at hand. I was able to stop acting like a jerk and look toward a solution. I was able to see the differences in the two situations.

Once I looked at the actual problem in front of me, I could cast off the anger and anxiety from before and set about solving it.

Monday Motivator: Be Prepared

My big plan for this summer is to get some much-needed maintenance done on my house, starting with my deck. Our condo board has decided that decks need to be updated or replaced. Mine is not on that list, but it’s only a matter of time. And my deck has passed being an eyesore to being a potential hazard for any adult who stands on it.

Of course, anyone who owns a home knows that repairs are not always straightforward. My deck holds a heat pump, which needs to be moved before repairs take place. Yesterday, I had the AC man come out and take a look to see how hard it would be to move it. Unfortunately, he pointed out that moving it was not the big deal. The big deal was that it is more than twenty years old.

Today I got a new HVAC. Coming two months after buying a new car, I am pretty unhappy.

But I remember something my mother told me years ago when I was complaining about something similar:

“I didn’t plan on having three major repairs in three months,” I said to her.

Her response, “You should always plan on unexpected bills.”

Yep, my mom is never going to earn a place in the Optimist Hall of Fame. Still, I listened to her and became an almost obsessive saver.

Obviously, it’s not always possible, and I’m the first to admit that I have been lucky.

Still, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the unexpected. It doesn’t make you a pessimist. It just means that you’re aware that HVAC systems and cars don’t last forever, and some day you’ll have to replace them. For me, that time is now.

Monday Motivator: Celebrate ALL the Wins

A friend of mine was just inducted to a music hall of fame. I think this is a big deal, but whenever anyone congratulates her, she tends to downplay it.

Now as someone who is never going to be inducted into any hall of fame unless I create one and induct myself, I don’t understand her attitude. I have lived in Nashville for decades and have some insight to how hard the music business is. If you have recorded songs, gone on tour, and been on television, you should be proud of yourself. If you have sung with Sam Bush, Porter Wagoner, and Dolly Parton, you should be proud of yourself. My friend has done all of these things.

I hope now that the ceremony has taken place, she has soaked in the moment and enjoyed herself. I hope that she is half as proud of herself as her friends are.

But her attitude is far from rare. Too many of us talk down our wins. Over the years, I have heard many things like this:

“Sure, I earned my doctorate, but it took me a decade.”

“Sure, I got the promotion. But I don’t think anyone else really applied for it.”

“Sure, I published this article, but it was just in a local publication, and I think the editor felt sorry for me.”

Yikes! Being happy that something good happened doesn’t make us bigheads or braggarts. We need to channel our inner toddler. If a toddler wins a race, and you say that they ran fast and did a good job, they don’t say, “Oh, the other kids were slow,” or “This is only a toddler race. I didn’t win the Olympics.” No, they clap and scream and run some more for good measure.

We should be happy when good things happen to others. But we should also be happy when good things happen to us.

The world often seems cold and angry these days. A good counter to that is to take every chance we have to celebrate. Even when it’s for ourselves.

Monday Motivator: Bounce Back

This past week was the French Open tennis tournament. Rafael Nadal made quite the argument for being considered the greatest of all time, and Iga Świątek proved that her number one ranking was not just a fluke result of Ash Barty’s sudden retirement.

But like many tournaments, we can  also learn from those who didn’t win. Eighteen-year-old phenom Coco Gauff made it to the finals in both the singles and doubles, but didn’t bring home the trophy in either. Alexander Zverev looked to be about to give Nadal a run for his money when he fell on his ankle in one of the more gruesome accidents I’ve seen in a tennis match and had to withdraw.

And the lesson we can learn is that we need to find a way to bounce back from disappointments because there is always a new day, a new challenge ahead of us. In tennis, that challenge is the grass season leading up to Wimbledon in three weeks. Time spent in licking wounds is time not spent preparing for the next big tournament.

Of course, some disappointments are bigger than others. Zverev’s injuries may very well mean that he can’t play Wimbledon. Although he won this year, Nadal has faced some chronic injuries and at thirty-six, his playing years are coming to an end. For those of us who aren’t professional athletes, the disappointments can be just as hard: the promotion that didn’t happen, the failed test or course, the loss of a friend or partner.

Getting knocked down is not an ‘if’ proposition. It’s a ‘when’ one. So, it’s wise to have a plan to bounce back.