Monday Motivator: It’s Never Too Late to Find Meaning

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who was probably best known for introducing the world to the psychological concept of flow, was a child in Europe when WWII broke out. He survived, but his brother was sentenced to a gulag in Russia. He basically disappeared, and everyone assumed he was dead. Decades later, during the diplomatic thaw between the East and West, he was released. Gulag prisoners were still looked on with suspicion, and he had to take any job he could get. As Johann Hari says in his book, Stolen Focus, this was a man who had very few opportunities to find flow in his life.

Except that he did. When both men were in their 80s, Csikszentmihalyi visited his brother who had become fascinated by crystals. He showed one to Csikszentmihalyi and said that he had gotten up one morning to study it and got lost in its formation. The next thing he knew it was dark, and his first thought was that a storm was coming. But no, the sun was setting. He had studied the crystal all day.

Hari’s book is on focus, and I admit I was jealous of someone who could get that involved in a project without taking at least forty breaks to check email and social media (and have some snacks). But the story stayed with me for another reason.

There is a saying attributed to George Eliot, although it can’t be found in any of her writings: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” I’m not sure that is always true, but I do believe that it is never to find meaning.

If we are lucky enough to have jobs that put us in a flow state, that’s great. But finding meaning can come from anywhere. When we turn off the TV and turn away from Snapchat, there are all sorts of things out there that can engage us.

Let’s start looking.

Monday Motivator: Make a Gratitude List

I am an avid list maker. I usually have a running list of things that need to be done in a notebook and mark them out with a pen as they are completed. In fact, I love that part so much that, when I do something that’s not on my list, I add it, just for the joy of marking it done.

I keep lists of all sorts of things: home improvements, trips I want to take, books I want to read, etc. So, this week, in the spirit of the season, I am going to share my gratitude list. And because I work in a library, it’s going to be focused on book-related items.

In no specific order, here is my gratitude list:

1. For my library colleagues who are incredibly smart, dedicated to students, and fun to be around.
2. For the students who come into the library each day. They are the reason we are here, but they also make our jobs more fun.
3. For the freedom to read wherever my fancy has taken me over the years.
4. For Jane Austen, George Eliot, Elizabeth Gaskell, Margaret Oliphant, the Bronte sisters, and many other authors who have kept me company.
5. For all the mystery novelists who have kept me guessing to the last page.
6. For my parents and teachers who encouraged my love of reading when I was a child.
7. For all the teachers out there, who, despite the odds, are dedicated to making sure that children develop a love of reading and have access to all kinds of books.

I am a lucky person to get to be around books every day. (Although, despite the popular misconception, library workers rarely get to read at all, let alone all day. That’s what lunch is for!)

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope your work gives you much to be thankful for.

Monday Motivator: Concentrate on the Golf Balls

In her book, Happier Hour, Cassie Holmes tells about a professor who brings in a giant jug on the first day of class. He fills it with golf balls and asks the class if it’s full. They say yes. Then he puts in some pebbles. And asks if it’s full. Then he puts in sand. And asks if it’s full. Then he takes a couple of beers, pours the contents into the jug and takes a sip of the other.

His point is that the golf balls are the things we care most about in life: family, friends, career, etc. The others are less important as we go along. The pebbles are the daily chores that need to be done. The sand represents even more minor things. (And the beer is just a reminder that it’s always a good idea to get together with a friend and have a beer or a coffee.)

The point is that we have to take time for those things that we say are most important in our lives. If the jar was filled with sand first, there would be no room for the golf balls. But it occurred to me that there is another point as well. Sometimes we look at our lives and think we need to make a huge change (quit our jobs, leave a relationship, move to another town) to achieve our dreams. However, sometimes the answer is simpler, if not easy. It’s to take a hard look at how we are spending our time. We need to cut out the stuff that’s taking up time but not making us happy: watching television, surfing the web, etc. Then we need to replace the time saved with activities that are meaningful: having dinner with a friend, reading a book to a child, working on that dream.

Believe me, I know it’s harder than it sounds. If time wasting were an Olympic sport, I would be a multi-gold medalist. When I come home, I’m tired. And watching some Tennis Channel is much more appealing than trying to wrestle a rough draft into shape. But on those nights I do work on the rough draft, I feel a whole lot better.

This week, figure out what your golf balls are and spend your time on them. And have a beer (or a Diet Coke) with a friend.

Monday Motivator: Sometimes You Have to Start Over

For a couple of months, I had some physical problems. I couldn’t eat, felt sick a lot, and lost a lot of weight. I couldn’t tell if I were physically sick because I was suffering from anxiety or if I were anxious because I was physically sick. But recently, I have started to feel better. I’ve been able to eat normally again. I’ve put on some weight. And I’ve had a couple of medical tests that said that all was well.

I decided to return to the Y. The first day, I decided to take it easy and just run one mile. I did that pretty easily. The next time, I thought since I did one mile easily, I could return to my usual exercise routine. So, I started running. After a while, I was sure that I must have run three miles. I was tired and my legs hurt. I checked my Fitbit. I had run only 1.5 miles. But I had to stop.

Sometimes you can’t pick up where you left off. You’ve got to take a  few steps back or even start over. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not a failure. Life hands us setbacks all the time. And we have to find a middle ground between pretending they didn’t happen or just totally giving up.

For me, I’ve decided not to be upset that I can’t run as far I did a few months ago and be grateful that I am feeling better and that I am able to return to the track for the mile or so that I can run.